Free Pills and Condoms for All

If I ever start a charity in this country, it’d be a family planning one. I am not joking or lying to gain attention, or just trying to upset people into an uproar. I am simply speaking what’s on my mind: Nigeria needs free contraception, and in surplus.

I have this theory that the more troubled times are, the more sex people have, thus more children. And Nigeria is perpetually troubled. So we are left with an overburdened country of 180 million people and thousands – if not millions – of children begging on the streets and distraught mothers who are secretly dying on the inside.

In traffic, when I see a set of twin babies clinging to a mother who can barely afford to feed herself and probably has others at home, I feel like hugging her and slipping the pill into her hands.

When I hear of men desperately struggling to pay school fees for their five or six children with another on the way, I want to give them money and directions to the nearest chemist  for a pack of Gold Circle.

When I observe burnt-out mothers complaining about being pregnant yet again, I imagine implanting an IUD in them myself, or at the very least, giving them an ovulation monitor for Christmas.

When someone tells me stories of abortions gone wrong on university campuses, I want to show up at University of Lagos with Ghana-Must-Go bags of free morning-after pills to spare girls the cultural shame that leads them to risk their lives and kill their babies. Because let’s face it, universities will always be hotbeds of sex.

Of course, there is absolutely no guarantee that they’d all accept my gracious gifts – mostly for cultural/religious reasons. But at least, I would help a few practical ones, no?


Image|Source: anqa, Flickr



  1. Lol…totally agree with u..
    I once bumped into this kid that was throwing a huge tantrum at d mall…d tantrum was sooo much that the mother just stood aside all red staring n bewildered..
    I got inspired and walked up to the woman and whispered ‘u know u shld av used a condom, right?’…the woman’s eyes that were wider n she got redder!…lol..
    …had to cut my shopping short n leave immediately as I figured d woman’s first call after getting over d shock, will be d


  2. I know a security guard who earns 18k and has thirteen children! Family planning is actually free in health centres across the country but my people refuse to go.


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