Glorified Goats

Catch a wild goat and give it a bath;

Conceal it from the scorching needles of the Sun.

Dress it in the whitest, most regal agbada;

Don a hat between its horns.

Fit its hooves with genuine Italian leather;

Flatter the left forelimb with a Rolex.

Take away the waste yam slices;

Tempt it with Sheraton’s best.

Sweeten it with a brand new tinted Range Rover

So it can travel between watering holes in style.

Award it a billion Naira bank account

And honour it with a title.

Let it sit as the Guest of Honour at your child’s wedding –

Let it even bleat the toast.

All this changes nothing:

It is still a goat.


Image| Source:, Flickr



  1. I skipped over this the first time, coming back to it and thinking, “this is a nicely written piece…”. It is apt , straightforward , without seeming like grouchy rant.Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

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